I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
