I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
