I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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