i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
