Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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