i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
