That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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