.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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