so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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