Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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