so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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