What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
