Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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