Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
