that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
