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Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
is it fun? or sober?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
