I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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