I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
