my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
