I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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