you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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