you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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