he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
