It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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