Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
