have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
