Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm passing your future prison.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize