is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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