I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Boobs speak an international language.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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