Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My vagina just clenched in fear
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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