areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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