Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
