Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so