i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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