Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
People in love make me want to vomit
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Boobs are out for the taking
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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