I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
