her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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