Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
