What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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