Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
