this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
