Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
