Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize