i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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