yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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