Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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