He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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