think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
