3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
