That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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