I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
