I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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