drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
