maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
