Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Did you pee in the oven last night??
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
