a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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