Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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