You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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