addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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