My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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